Montessorian – a mother’s Journey for finding the right school (Montessori)

Monday, October 27, 2014

It’s my personal experience that I would like to share it with everyone. When I was pregnant with my son, Ethan, I had many dreams for him. Every day he grew in my belly was another moment spent day dreaming of who he will become. I was excited to show him the ropes and get him through the bumpy roads of life, but little did I know, he was going to take wheel and I was merely a guide, the GPS.

Most of the dreams I had for him were pretty typical, lift head by 3 months, crawl by 5 months, walk by 11 months, and talk by 12 months. He didn’t even pop out yet and I had his first year entirely planned out, all thanks to my piles of baby books and years of child hood education and experience under my belt. It wasn’t long before I started fantasizing about what school he will go to, what sports he will join, what college he will attend, the list goes on and on.
The big day came and my son was born. There he was, full of life, curiosity, and joy.And here I was a nervous wreck! One of the things I did to help calm myself was imagine all the goals I had planned for him, and think about how I work towards that.
Few months had passed, and now my son is 5 months old. He was strong enough to lift his head, but didn’t show signs of crawling anytime soon. I freaked out. “How come he isn’t crawling? I gotto do something about it”

Through my research no longer as a student, or therapist, but now as a mom, I stumbled upon the Montessori Method. The more I learned about Montessori, the more intrigued I grew. I am not exactly sure what caught me, whether it wasthe deep respect teachers had for the children, or that the children were able to manipulate the materials and learn through their own experiences, or that the teachers followed each child as unique individuals! I saw my little Ethan in a different light. Instead of looking at him as a future Ivy League scholar, I saw him as a child full of wonder and mystery. I shifted my feelings away from who he was supposed to be based on my preconceived notions and accepted he will be who he is meant to be.

After having started my position as a teacher in the infant Community then Director in a Montessori School, I saw ALL children differently. Suddenly the parents who came to me with suggestions of “my child must read by 3 years old” seemed silly. But really, that was me not long ago. Asking Ethan, or any children, to conform to my ideals is like “Judging a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”-Albert Einstein.
When making the big decision of deciding Montessori or conventional schooling—it was natural for me to choose Montessori because “Montessori is an education for independence, preparing not just for school, but for life” –Maria Montessori. That was what I wanted for Ethan, to learn without fear of reprimand and freedom to explore individual interests while building up confidence. He is now a toddler; with much to say, do, and share. I let him take the wheel, and guided him to the destination of his journey.

About Milinh Villanueva

I have been working with children since 2003, with ages ranging from 6 weeks through Kindergarten, and developmental abilities ranging from typically developing to special needs. I have a bachelor’s degree from San Jose State University reflecting special and childhood education. My Montessori certification is nearly completed with all coursework and I am eager to start practicum. Not only as a Director, but also as a mother of a child who attends Montessori school, I believe in the Montessori philosophy wholeheartedly. For me, the Montessori Method is more than just an approach to learning academics; it is the way to developing the child as a whole taking into account their physical, emotional, and social growth.

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Behavior Would you like to hold my pocket?

“Would you like to hold my pocket?”
This is a technique we use in our schools that is very effective. As a parent or visitor of the school, you might see one or more children walking around with a teacher with their hand in the pocket of the teacher. Both teacher and child can be successful with this method of discipline in the classroom or playground. It in no way harms the child nor humiliates them in any way. The child is right there with the teacher who can continue to work with other children, therefore, the misbehaving child is also not monopolizing the time of the teacher as well. Many times, a child will only have to hold the pocket of the teacher once. The next time she gives him a choice to either correct behavior or hold the pocket, they generally correct the behavior.
Here is how we use “holding my pocket”
When a child has made a poor choice: Give the child the opportunity to correct is the most important thing. Below conversation between Johnny and his teacher
Teacher: “Johnny, please sit properly in circle”
Johnny does not listen
Teacher:”Johnny, please sit properly in circle or you may hold my pocket”
Johnny either corrects behavior or not. If he does not immediately
Teacher: “I see you have chosen to hold my pocket”
Have Johnny stand up and hold your pocket. Only do this for one minute or less. If he refuses to hold your pocket, gently hold his hand, be sure to be at his level, so if he drops to the floor, you are not pulling on him. You might say Johnny, you are going to hurt yourself, please be careful” Wait until he is ready to hold your pocket. If this becomes a battle of the wills, wait it out. Eventually if you are consistent, he will hold your pocket. Tell Johnny, “hold my pocket for the count of 5″ Then show him on your fingers what that means. Once he on his own holds your pocket, count to 5. Then ask him if he is ready to return to the group. (If this is distracting to the group, quietly move away from the group of children.)
The next time Johnny challenges one of the ground rules of the group, you can quietly ask him “Would you like to hold my pocket”? He likely will correct his behavior on his own.
Consistency is the key with this method of discipline; the key is positive reinforcement of the correct behavior
Allows child total control of himself
Does not humiliate or degrade in any way (if your words remain positive) not just used as a threat or empty threat.
Child can choose to correct behavior quickly; some children just need a visual reminder (point to your pocket, make eye contact)
Child maintains contact with adult – this is positive
Adult does not forget about child, and with the child walking around with adult using the pocket, the adult has free hands
If the child drops to the floor, adult is not pulling on child
Pocket Rules
Only one or two fingers go in pocket
Hand does not go all the way into pocket
Child is not to pull on adult’s clothing
If adult does not have a pocket, find a waistband or something to hold on to. Reinforce rules about not pulling on clothing.
An adult can have up to 4 children on “pocket”. If there are more than 4 children at a time on pocket, it might be a good idea to review program and other activities going on in the classroom or outside.​
–Colleen Noll

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